She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
