Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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