Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
