Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
