The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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