Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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