Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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