if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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