Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
