just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
