Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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