woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
