one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
