I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize