Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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