Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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