I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
