yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my sisters under your porch take her home
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
