I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Farmville is her only friend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
