Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
