Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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