I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
