I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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