and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
