Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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