i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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