Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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