I just pynch a tree in the face
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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