I hate all girls vehemently.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
