idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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