u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
