Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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