I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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