im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
