the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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