apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
