Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
