i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
