Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
