I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
