It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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