Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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