come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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