Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
