What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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