if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
