his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
