If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
