Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
