Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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