Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
