Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
