We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Randomize
