Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
