he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
