I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
