we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
how drunk are you?
Several
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
