he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His nipple licking is glorious
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