3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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