oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
